Posted on Sat, 14 May 2022
My descent into diaper fetishism is much different than most. You see, I'm very much aroused by humiliation and being used sexually, which lead to a specific event that sort of triggered an interest in adult diapers.
Many years ago, when Craiglist still had a hook-up section, I would cruise the listings for anyone looking a submissive guy for anything I deemed embarrassing or humiliating. I am technically straight, but I find it particularly humiliating to be dominated by another guy. The following is the actual text of his ad, which I have saved as a screenshot for fap fodder.
Fit, Older(52), Dom Guy seeks younger twinks for MY pleasure. My mobile dungeon is ready for new visitors. Bondage, Spanking, Anal, Humiliation, and more. I will use you and abuse you, then leave you on the side of the road to find your own way home. Interested?
To say I was interested would be an understatement. I emailed him a photo of myself and he responded a few minutes later.
You look adequate. As my post states, I am looking to use and abuse. Not interested in a list of limits or requests for safe words. If we meet up, what I say goes. I will not leave permanent marks or do anything that might require medical intervention, HOWEVER, you will be strapped down, beaten until your ass is black and blue, and fucked until your asshole is gaped. Can you handle that?
Obviously it sounds like a dangerous situation to most people, but I was more aroused than ever. I responded that I could handle it and got a response back telling me to meet him at a mall about an hour away after they closed the following day.
At 11pm the following night, I went to the mall and parked where he told me to. A few minutes later, a large Sprinter style van pulled up next to me. The driver fit the description of the man from the posting, which was confirmed when he motioned for me to come to his window.
He verified who I was and asked to see ID. I was 19 at the time, but a lot of people thought I looked younger. When he was satisfied, he climbed out of the van and I followed him to the back door. He opened the door about half way, then grabbed my upper arm and guided me inside. He climbed in right behind me and shut the door before turning on the light.
The inside of the van was amazing. The walls were covered in soundproofing with a wall of drawers on the right side. In the middle of the space was a padded bondage bench, which was shaped to strap someone down on all fours at waist height.
He ordered me to strip, which I did. As I removed each piece of clothing, he placed them in a large clear plastic bag. Once I was naked, he guided me over the bench with my knees on the padded side platforms and my torso resting on the top platform, which spanned from my belly button to my head. My wrists were pulled down the front legs and cuffed near the bottom. Straps were then added around my thighs, ankles and finally around my waist. Next, he pushed a large ballgag into my mouth and pulled the gag harness over my head and cinched it tight.
Once I was strapped down snug, I watched as he opened one of the drawers and pulled out a good sized dildo that was attached to some sort of clamp. From the same drawer, he grabbed a bottle which he used to lube the dildo before moving around behind me. I knew it was coming, but was unprepared for the thickness of the dildo as he pressed it firmly into my asshole, which elicited a gagged yelp from me. I felt completely stretched out, but the dildo wasn't going anywhere. He inserted it a few inches and then clamped it to the bench to keep it in place.
He went over all the restraints again, then the lights went out and a door between the cargo area and the cab opened. I was confused for a moment until I felt the the van start up. At this point, I was genuinely scared. An exciting adventure suddenly seemed like it might be an elaborate kidnapping plot.
As we drove around, my body shifted on the bench with every bump, brake and turn of the van, which caused the dildo to move in and out several inches - repeatedly. As uncomfortable as it was, I could feel my erection bouncing around.
The van came to a final stop maybe 20 minutes later. He re-entered the back of the van and turned the lights back on. The clamp holding the dildo in place was removed, then the dildo was pulled from my ass. That triggered an agitated response from him, as he admonished me for not cleaning myself out before meeting him. He went on and on about how dirty his dildo was, then made a show of pulling my shirt from the plastic bag and using it to wipe the dildo clean.
Another drawer was opened and he pulled out a blister pack that contained a brand new flesh colored butt plug. It looked massive, but would be considered medium size for reference. It was pulled from the packaging, then given a rub down with a baby wipe before he reached behind me and roughly pressed it into my ass. I screamed into the gag as the widest part of the plug slid past my rectum, but the pain passed within a few moments.
From yet another drawer, he pulled out a long leather strap that I later learned was called a tawse. He smacked his hand with a couple times for dramatic effect, then moved around behind. I squealed loudly through the gag when the first blow from the tawse landed across both ass cheeks. It hurt so much more than I expected and it was only the first of many. By the 20th blow, it felt like he was stripping the skin from my ass. By the 40th blow, there were areas of my ass and thighs I couldn't feel anymore. I lost count at 50 strokes, but the beating went on for another 20 or 30 after that.
Despite the painful beating I just experienced, I could still feel my engorged cock bouncing around beneath me. I was deep in that special headspace that makes it all worthwhile.
A moment later, I could feel his cock rubbing against my thighs and ass. He slid it between my legs and rubbed it up against my own cock. He did that for a few moments, then broke the silence.
"I'm very disappointed that you failed to clean your asshole before coming here, so I'm going to give you a little lesson about what to do if I choose to see you again."
Again, he opened another drawer and pulled out several disposable enema bottles. Four of them were lined up on my back, then he roughly pulled the enormous plug from my ass. He gave my sphincter a moment to shrink back to normal size, then one by one squeezed all four enema bottles into my colon. After the final bottle, he pulled a large adult diaper from another drawer and wrapped it around my pelvis as if he'd done a million times before. My cock was still hard as a rock, but he pulled pulled it down and taped the diaper up extra tight.
When he moved around to my head, I could see his cock jutting out from the fly of his jeans. He let it rub against my face as he unbuckled the gag harness and pulled the ballgag from my mouth. Instinctively, I started to stretch my jaw out, but he only gave me a few seconds before the head of his cock was at my lips. It was hard to do a good job of sucking his cock while strapped to the bench, but I did my best with my tongue.
Within a few minutes, I realized I was going to need to empty my bowels very soon. Every minute that passed made it harder and harder. It wasn't long before I was desperately clenching my asshole. He saw the struggle and when I was barely holding it in, he shoved his cock right into my throat. The immediate gagging sensation pulled all of my focus away from my ass and I lost control - emptying my bowels into the diaper I wore. As it was happening, he pulled his cock from my mouth and shot his load right into my hair. In that moment, I was both absolutely disgusted and completely turned on.
He took a moment to compose himself, then turned and picked up my bag of clothes. Aiming his now soft cock into the bag, he released his bladder and soaked my clothes with piss.
For the next few minutes, he moved around the back of the van cleaning toys and putting them away. When he was finished, he release me from the straps and handed me the bag of pissy clothes. All he said was "Your car is on the other side of the mall", then he opened the back door and pushed me out. I was standing in the middle of the mall parking lot in the middle of the night - dressed only in a dirty adult diaper and holding a bag of clothes he had pissed on. I didn't even have time to think about my situation when the van started up and drove away. Now I didn't even have the cover of the van to hide behind.
There was nobody around and it was very dark, which I was thankful for. However, I needed to get my bearings so I could find my car. Luckily, I had been to this mall several times before, so it only took me a minute to realize which direction I needed to walk. I thought about putting on the wet clothes, but I knew the pants wouldn't fit over the diaper and I couldn't remove the diaper without getting the mess everywhere. I considered wearing just the shirt and trying to use it to hide the diaper from prying eyes, but didn't want to get the urine in my car upholstery. Finally, I figured I would just try to make it to my car as I was and be prepared to pull on the shirt quickly if I saw any people.
Walking around the mall took about 30 minutes. It would have been faster, but I found myself running from bush to bush in case I needed to hide. Luckily, the only car I saw was security sitting in the back lot and watching something on their phone. As far as I know, they didn't see me and I made it back to my car and headed home.
We had a few more "Humiliation Van" visits after that. I made sure to clean my ass out good before each visit and got a good ass pounding in return. I told him the diapering was probably the most humiliating thing I had experienced yet, so he was sure to include it in every visit.
He caught on to me bringing sweatpants, so they would fit over a diaper and wasn't going to let it slide. So, after one van encounter during the day, he put me in triple thick diapers, which were quite obvious under the sweatpants. He finished up by pulling the tie string tight and tying it into multiple knots. There was no way to remove the diapers or the sweats without scissors or a knife to cut the tie string, so when he dropped me off on the busy shopping strip a mile away from my car, I had to do the entire walk with my padded ass making me waddle. Thankfully, my shirt was fairly long, so it wasn't entirely obvious unless someone really paid attention.
Those interactions went on for about a year, but stopped after he moved away. Since then, I've had a lot of interactions with others, but I have actively sought out diaper humiliation in particular. It kind of took over as my primary fetish and I couldn't be happier.